I thought I was crazy volunteering to go lambing for a second year. To the point of I almost rang up and cancelled a few weeks before. Interesting and amazing that actually, it was exactly what I needed; mentally, physically and spiritually.
One of my weaknesses is that I so often sport a negative attitude about the course that I study. I easily forget the long road walked in order to get to the point of applying for vet school, and baulk at the thought of having to go to lectures all day or to complete that essay on time. I complain when I have to study all day, and then complain when I have to do placements all day.
And that was the great thing about this Easter. To go back to basics after a hard year cramming my brain full of concepts I don't really understand and lectures I don't really enjoy. A breath of Brecon Beacon fresh air with it's extraordinary beautiful views in firstly remembering that animals are actually ALIVE generally (contrary to what the dissection room would have me believe) and that I enjoy working with them. I love being able to understand what is going wrong, and knowing (in very limited terms) how to fix it. To see the joy that only new life can bring. There is no other feeling on earth like that.
A breath of fresh air was sorely needed. But also a slap in the face to remember what I have got and what I am working for. Being filled with cynicism and negativity around working and approaching revision is not a good thing. I think I feel that way partly because I'm scared I can't do it, that I will fail so I put it off and off. But also due to the fact I've lost sight of what I'm aiming for.
It was an experience with a very unordinary taxi driver that gave the wake up call I needed; all be it very inadvertently and gently. Maybe God was using him to teach me a lesson in the way that He knew would be best suited to me at that time. On returning to Bristol, I slept over at a friend's house and then was phoning for a taxi to take me and my luggage back to Will Hall. Despite it being a bizarre experience for other reasons (you can ask me later), it was extraordinary that this taxi driver actually just reminded me of the right view of things in the 5 minutes we had driving.
In response to my complaint about the weather, he proceeded to list all the blessings we have and take for granted every day. The fact that we are alive, we can walk, we can touch, see, listen, taste. We live in a relatively safe country, have comfortable homes, have good health, have work to go to and money to spend. Places and things to spend it on. Families we can find comfort in, spend time with and love. Friends we can celebrate and build relationships with, and also, for the thousands of students in Bristol, degrees which we can study for.
We live in a part of the world where we don't really realise how fortunate we are. A bubble that seemingly never pops. Just being at Bristol university you are probably in the top ten percent of the UK in academic achievement, and in a society that values what letters you got at A-Level more than the person and judges your worth and status mostly by your higher education or similar. Don't I realise how fortunate I am? I have the opportunity to learn, to investigate the world and to become part of a profession that I love. To look forward to going to work because it something that I love to do, not something that I have to do.
So next time when you are filled with cynicism about why you are university and what it is all for, as the revision gets boring and hard, remind yourself of why you chose your subject over another that other one. Look at the world or the room around you and count your blessings! For me, I will keep reminding myself of why I want to be a vet, and why that is worth all the hours I am spending locked up in my room at my desk. And when I can't see the joys of life, or the good things that surround me, I will always think back to that seemingly ordinary taxi journey, with a unordinary driver who had some extraordinary things to share.
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